Vision Quest Aug 2010

I've learnt that traditionally vision quests are 'men's business', but there are also readings them being 'women's business' too. So, in our case, 8 women sat with mother nature, under grandmother moon and released our fears and asked for guidance and direction. To be with 7 other inspiring, strong, wise, beautiful women in a loving and trusting environment was a a not to be missed opportunity. It.was.amazing. I sat with these woman then I sat alone with my thoughts. The following is what I wrote sitting alone in my tent:
Sitting now by my solo camp fire feeling blessed to be where I am and having been in company of such amazing women for the last few hours, by the 'home fire'. So thankful for this opportunity to sit alone with nature by myself with my thoughts, welcoming the tears that flowed from my eyes earlier when I held baby an infant boy. Am now wondering why the tears came then. AM I grieving that stage with my babies, in fear that I won't get to have more babies of my own? Surely the tears are not from missing my babies, or maybe they are and the other times when we've been apart for 1 or 2 nights I was too busy and distracted to realise the loss, hence no tears then.
The noises I hear: I can hear the waterfall. It sounds awesome. Also hear my fire crackling-the air moving through the flames. The insects.
I can see: The moon lit night sky. The mounting in the not too distance where I sit at the from of my tent looking straight out. The sky is well lit, as grandmother moon is almost full. The sky is clear so I see many stars.
I look back down the hill toward 'home fire' and I see no fire now. I wonder if I am the only one burning a fire?
I smell: familiar smells. Moss, smoke, crisp clean air.
I chose this spot because I imagined being out of sight from others as solo as I was at Mt Binga, 16 years ago! I'm part way up a hill where I can look down to the reassurance of other women's tents and toward the home fire.